‘Cocaine Bear’ and ‘Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey’s have the same problem — nobody CARES!!!

Elizabeth BANKS is all, talking in interviews and such, talking about “career risk,” and all that but it’s like … don’t get ahead of yourself, honey!!!

The real story is, the bear in real life, it took all that cocaine and died.

And that’s kinda sad.

Otherwise, Ms. Banks reveals she knows as little about bears as the guy in the Herzog film, Grizzly MAN — typical American.

Plus, she reveals she doesn’t know much about the drug trade — from which I learned a lot from James (Panic in Needle PARK) MILLS’S 1170-page tome from 1986, The Underground EMPIRE: Where CRIME and GOVERNMENT Embrace — which means she doesn’t know much about the CIA, the Narcos, or where, in times and places, people DROP COCAINE FROM THE SKY ALL THE TIME.

Richard LINKLATER, in the book for the movie Slacker, says of aspiring filmmakers, “people worry about money all the time … I tell people not to worry about the money. The money will be there when you need it. In fact, being given the money before you’re ready for it could be the last thing you want, because you just show the world all you have yet to learn” (or something — words to that effect).

Ms. Banks is apparently still on the playground. For one thing, she thinks CGI makes everything possible and “hilarious” — as far as the trailer goes, I ain’t buying a word of it (if word means “frame” — or whatever the digital analogue is, for 21 frames-per-SECOND), it all just looked like idea-less bullshit. Yes, I know bears are big scary creatures like tigers and lions … but they’re creatures, and to me, it’s sadder that the bear died in real life — and says something to me, about humans and our relationship to drugs, not part of the animal kingdom’s relationship to Life, as Herzog knows[*] — than to make some “yuk-fest” about how some relievedly-scary creature is supposed to be going on a whacked-out rampage, and isn’t that (implicitly) a relief, because bears are so scary, and all. Well, the thing is, even if Ms. Banks is at the level of producing a film that comes out “once a generation,” as reviewers have been saying of the recent Skinamarink[**] — and I heartily concur — she still is supposed to be at the level of the filmmakers who made the movie, not the children in it!

This is exactly what people used to complain about with Spielberg/Lucas and the people they SPAWNED … “special effects are supposed to count for everything!!!” Well, it never was as true then as it is now, with this CGI shit!!!

PLUS: Post-post-’90s, you get this crap. It’s like “Beerfest,” it’s like Broken LIZARD, it’s like “South Park” (bad enough), its ultimate nadir is Seth Rogen (the worst!). Because the deal is, kids, once we start kidding around too much, and get further from the source … you were still supposed to read Marx/Engels. You were still supposed to read Freud, and interpret dreams, and wonder what it meant. You were still supposed to read Dostoyevsky, or Kirkegaard, or Sartre, and then cross it with the Scooby-Doo that was in your head — this is Slacker. Roland Barthes and Walter Benjamin are people you should want to read, and (in part) from reading Douglas Coupland and Pagan Kennedy. Why is this a problem? Waking Life mentions André Bazin in it — why is this a problem? 🤔

Chuck Palahniuk once told Carlton Mellick III, of the “Bizarro” scene he helped create and coin a term for, that “you can’t do anything if people think it’s just for shock value … if they’re going to think that, they’re going to think that” (or words to that effect — it’s in one of Carlton Mellick’s introductions, whether it’s to Razor-Wire Pubic Hair or Satan Burger I don’t know, I don’t remember … #HA 😉 👍👍👍 #YEAH ). I mean, what can you do?? 🤔

But these people don’t even CARE.

It’s like the “tree falling in the woods,” but to the opposite effect — “now that no-one cares, now that no-one matters, or their ideas don’t, pile on!!!”

It’s the Marvel™ effect, I’m tellin’ ya — now that it doesn’t even matter to begin with, throw more on.

I’m not even going to write about the “Winnie-the-Pooh” movie.

I don’t know anything about it, and I DON’T GIVE A SHIT!!!

— — — — — —

[*] Sheesh! I don’t think this is a stretch, here. — ed.

[**] I first learned about this thanks to Lindsey Jordan, a 23-year-old who was signed to Matador at age 19 with her band, Snail Mail, when she posted to her Instagram about it … how do you like THAT for “young at heart,” eh … ?? — ed. 🤔 #YEAH 😉 👍👍👍 😎 #COOL